Contributed By Ian McGuigan
 | Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion? A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes |
| Q: How do crazy people go through the forest. A: They take the psycho path. |
| Q: How do you get holy water? A: Boil the hell out of it. |
| Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb? A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment." |
| Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall? A: "Dam". |
| Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long? A: Polaroids. |
| Q: What do prisoners use to call each other? A: Cell phones. |
| Q: What do the letters D.N.A. stand for? A: National Dyslexics Association. |
| Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A: A stick. |
| Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Nacho Cheese. |
| Q: What do you call Santa's helpers? A: Subordinate Clauses. |
| Q: What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand? A: Quatro sinko. |
| Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk. |
| Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A: Frostbite. |
| Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor? A: A pachydermatologist |
| Q: What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill
you? A: A pool table. |
| Q: What is a zebra? A: 26 sizes larger than an "A" bra. |
| Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? A: Sanka. |
| Q: What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic? A: Iceberg. |
| Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A: A nervous wreck. |
| Q: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? A: The taste. |
| Q: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? A: Anyone can roast beef. |
| Q: Where do you get virgin wool from? A: Ugly sheep. |
| Q: Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book? A: They all have phones. |
| Q: Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: They're trying to get away from the noise. |
| Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingers. |
Readers
